Friday, May 16, 2014

Stamp it out: part , Aftershocks and my beef

Stamp it out : part 5, Aftershocks and my beef

Previous posts in the series:

Just Keep Swimming
Branches of a Tree
She's the Happiest girl in the world... until she' snot
Fear of the bottom

Once on Prozac, I was able to sort out things more easily. I was able to figure out what to get upset over, what to let go. My drs helped me through the process and I went to a psychiatrist until I was 25 ish, off and on. I never had to find the dr myself though, my parents helped me. And later when I tried to navigate the process of finding a therapist, I understand why they pitched in.

I became closer with my father and found solace upon picking up the phone, saying " I am depressed" and not having to explain everything, because he knew. I miss that.  I had bouts of depression but nothing I couldn't get out of. I soon moved to a maintenance dose of Prozac and had my Primary Care    Physician prescribe it.

When I was 26, I met my husband. For all purposes he was the opposite of me. Cool, collected, not artsy, analytical and not crazy. The day came when I had to explain my crazy to him. Explaining my crazy to a non crazy person is intimidating. But he didn't care, he loved me anyways.

He saw glimpses of my depression, and has been supportive through it all. When we decided to have children, I was scared. My bottom from before had occurred from pregnancy hormones.  When a doctor advised me against taking Prozac I said "no way" and the Dr agreed it was in my best interest to continue my maintenance dosage.  Now of course I had my crazy pregnancy moments, but they were moments and nothing else.  I continue on with my maintenance dosage and I am in constant check of myself to make sure I am on the right path.

I worry about the day I have to talk to my children about their genetics, but I think if I educate them and treat it like their allergies, as will be well.

Here's the beef:

I fear the day I need a therapist. Want to know why? It's difficult. Really difficult.  After I call my insurance to figure out how much is covered, I have to look up Doctors that take my insurance. Then I call them. I am put on hold to learn that my insurance is no longer taken or there are no appointments for four weeks. Or I can get an appointment, but it may be with someone who won't prescribe medication and is only available when I absolutely cannot be available. And so I call the next doctor on the list and the same scenario plays out.

A little comparison: I had a sinus infection last week. I saw a dr within 24 hours. A sinus infection is not life threatening. But there is no problem getting to see a PCP in a timely manner for whatever physical ailment there is.

Now I am a (relatively) sane person. I can deal with this nonsense. But do you honestly think that the person who can't get out of bed can deal with it? And then the world is in an uproar when a shooting or stabbing occurs by someone with mental illness. Ever wonder why?  Maybe that person, that teen, was giving signs off about their mental illness. Maybe the parent had begun investigating resources. But it takes so long to get help, that so many things that are detrimental can happen in the meantime.

I don't have an answer, I wish I did. I do know that the stigma needs to go away about mental illness. I do know that the resources available need to effective and easily accessed.

Anyone have an idea? Anyone?

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